What you focus on is what you get! So what are you focusing on? Is it towards what you want or towards what you don’t want?
As next week’s talk is focused on helping you to find your main Focus in Life, I thought it would help if I shared some more information on Focus Filters. These are the Filters we use to filter all the tonnes of information we receive from the world around us, filtering it down to an amount which our Minds can Focus on. At the talk I plan to help you to discover your Key Focus Filter, which is the most important and dominant Filter you have. The following article is about Core Focus Filters. Having an understanding of these will serve as a good foundation and background for next week’s talk.
Core focus filters are about human needs.
There are endless models of human needs, basic human needs, fundamental human needs… and so on. The one I am sharing here is adapted from Anthony Robbins, and it’s the model he’s been using for decades. It makes the most sense to me personally. It is easy to explain and use in practice, and is the one which my clients resonate with the most.
Core human needs should not be mistaken for wants or values, they are needs and there is a big difference. For example, I need water to stay alive, yet I would survive the next few hours without a glass of water, wanting a drink now would be a want, not a need. Tony often says: “You don’t always get what you want, but you always get what you need.” Our Core Focus Filters or our core human needs are not just wants and desires, but profound needs which service the basis of every choice we make! People will always find the way to fulfill their needs, some find positive, beneficial ways to meet their needs, and some meet them in most destructive ways. In theory, any behavior that you are producing is geared to fulfill one of these needs:
A need for Certainty is huge for most people. This need reflects in our lives through craving and insisting on security, highly predictable future, safety, consistency in our relationships, secure environment, financial security, secure job, and alike.
Here comes the paradox, once people get enough Certainty… they get bored, and they start needing Variety. Mind you though, the need for Variety is not only present when the need for Certainty is fulfilled! We value our needs in different, individual orders, based on our conditioning. Variety is just the opposite of Certainty, it’s about not knowing, risk, challenges that will exercise our physical and emotional range, and surprises. Variety is the spice of life.
Significance reflects our need for being important in some way, worthy of things and experiences, caring about other’s perception of you, sense of being needed, sense of purpose, sense of meaning, feeling of importance, uniqueness, separation, status…
Love/Connection resembles our need to experience feeling loved; connected with others, bonding, oneness, sharing, intimacy, feeling a part of, at one with, sense of meaning…
Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love and Connection are the needs of our body. These needs will be met by all people, one way or another. We will go to great lengths to meet these needs from the most destructive and un-ecological ways to the most serving, beneficial ways. We will use different strategies and will do ANYTHING to meet these first four needs in our lives. We must meet them; they are the needs of our body.
We also have two more needs, which are needs of our souls, of our spirit:
Our need for Growth is reflected in any behavior supporting growth, expansion, learning, becoming more… when we stop growing, we die. We need to constantly develop emotionally, physically and spiritually.
Contribution is about going beyond your own needs and contributing to others, making a difference for others and our planet, helping, educating… coaching?
Sadly, many people don’t expand to the last two, without which one can never be sincerely content with one’s life. Remember you have the choice, you can just be and stay where you are. Or you can go for the learning’s, ensuring expansion and progress, rather than stagnation or disintegration. Life supports life… The gift of giving to others, contributing, is just so fulfilling and rewarding.
When life stops being about me, me, me… and you start contributing to other people’s lives, when you have goals bigger than yourself, your mind and body will shift to so much higher vibratory state that you can experience and start attracting so much more beauty in your life.
All human beings are consistently seeking to meet our core needs, but we tend to value two of them above others. These six core human needs are our Core Focus Filters, and the dominant two will influence your behavior the most.
For an example, someone who values Certainty will make very different choices than someone who values Variety more. And someone who values Significance more than Love and Connection will make radically different choices in life, won’t they?
An exercise for you
First write down all the ways you currently get: Certainty, Variety, Significance, Love/Connection, Growth and Contribution in your life in general. Then take your time and think about answering the following 2 questions:
- What is that drives you? What are your top 2 Core Focus Filters? Which two do you value most?
- How does this impact the quality of your life? What are the consequences (positive and negative) of valuing these needs in this order?
Please write your answers down and bring them with you next week, where we will move on to discovering your Key Focus Filter.
If you have any questions on what I have shared above, please feel free to ring or email me for clarification.